Quest, Part Two

I haven’t written for awhile–the reason I’ll go into on another day. Let’s just say for now, I passed my written Driver’s License test and I can finally go forward in life.

The other day when I looked up from studying the DMV manual, I was astonished to see a world transformed by nature’s paintbrush. Here I’d been traveling coast-to-coast to see the autumn leaves, and what do you know–the trees in all their glory are right in my backyard.

 

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I have to admit that even in the grip of anxiety about the test, I had seen one crimsoned tree, which took my breath away.

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But I had no idea of the treat I had in store. Where ever I go, there is more beauty to see.IMG_7425

I’m always searching for wisdom and I love when the world presents a metaphor for what is true in life. The truth is that you don’t need to go far from home to find your heart’s desire. With patience and the ability to see what’s right in front of your eyes, you’ll find all that is most meaningful is at your fingertips. We need to slow down enough to see it. We need to be grateful enough for what we have instead of seeking far and wide for what we think we want.

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Nature’s beauty is also a balm to our hearts as we watch the horrible deeds of terrorists worldwide. My heart is filled with sadness and fear, but observing the cycles of the earth, I get some balance. I can believe that evil will not triumph–that the murders of innocent people will not go unanswered.

This Thanksgiving, we will gather our family close–we will rejoice in being together, but we won’t forget those whose lives have been torn apart.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone.

 

The Quest

Source: The Quest

The Quest

When does an obsession start? Who really knows, but you may wake up one day and find yourself in the middle of one. It starts slowly, maybe even with a reasonable idea, but then it overtakes you. It happened to me this autumn—I became obsessed with seeing the glory of leaves changing color. This is a story that is enhanced by pictures, some of those enhanced as well, as you will see.

It started in mid-September when we were in Seattle visiting our daughter and grandkids. I took the three-year-old for a walk and we collected leaves that had already fallen.

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Later, when our grandson was playing in the band during their high school football game, I scouted for changing leaves.

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But it was too early for Seattle, which would be glorious by October.

I told myself that it was fine—I was just warming up my skills because we were to leave ten days later for a trip that would begin in Quebec. We’d board a cruise ship in Montreal, traveling on the “Fall Medley Cruise” up the St. Lawrence Seaway to the Atlantic Seaboard. “Mother Nature’s Paintbrush,” the cruise line’s brochure said. “Imagine a land so transformed by color that even the commonplace becomes extraordinary. A walk through the woods is like stepping into an autumnal kaleidoscope.”

Maybe it was this description, which started me on being a crazy person. I fell for the hype, hook, line and sinker. I expected to draw my curtains in the morning and be presented with the kaleidoscope described. Not to be. Quebec was a jewel: charming and unique. But the trees were green.

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On the train to Montreal, I was encouraged when I saw patches of changing leaves along the tracks. But it turned out that was an anomaly.

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It was chilly and crisp, but the leaves were proudly green.

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I was still hopeful. With the cold temperatures, the leaves had to turn soon, I thought. And we were going way north to Nova Scotia, so that would certainly do the trick, right? Wrong.

IMG_6653Above is what we saw. Below is what we could have seen.

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It was when we were in Maine that I became aware I was obsessed. We’d had a tour guide take us to Kennebunkport from Portland, Maine so we could visit friends and eat at the Clam Shack, which has the best fried clams anywhere in the world. On the way back, I saw some trees along the highway that were crimson. “Stop the car,” I yelled. As I stood on the side of the highway, I saw my traveling companions shooting me questioning looks. The question: Has she gone nuts?

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It wasn’t as if I hadn’t had this happen to me before. I remember being in Boston one year at Halloween. “All a yuz shouda been herah last week,” I was told.

On our return to the West Coast, we stayed a couple days in Seattle. “Finally, “I said to my husband, “we’ll see some autumn color.”A day earlier, maybe. But a storm had blown in and blew the leaves off most of the trees. I know because I took a walk with my camera to find them. An hour later, I returned, with little to show for my effort.

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Finally home, my neighbor made me feel a lot better about all the greenery we’d seen. “One year when we were back there, the leaves were so technicolor, you needed sunglasses,” he said. I’m sure he’s still wondering why I doubled over in laughter.

I did a little research on Fall Foliage, which, BTW, has become big business for the Northeast. Cruise ships disgorge hundreds of Medicare Tourists daily during this period—we were as numerous and pesky as fleas on a barn dog. I had evidence that I wasn’t alone in my quest for florescent foliage. You can even download an APP that will keep you updated as to when the leaves are reaching their peak.

But why is this so unpredictable? New England Fall Foilage Central says “the unpredictable factors that influence the rate at which leaves change colors are rain, the amount of sugar in the leaves, the number of daylight hours and temperatures….The three-day weekend around the Columbus Day holiday is often associated with peak foliage in Massachusetts, New York, Connecticut and Rhode Island, but there are no guarantees.”

Really? Thanks for the heads up!

And by the way, the photo below was taken on October 15!Screen Shot 2015-10-18 at 1.30.49 PM

Black Lives Need to Matter

 

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So many White people are upset with the Black Lives Matter movement. “All lives matter,” a friend said to me the other day at coffee. “Why are those people so divisive?”

At yoga, the instructor asked, “Why did they interrupt Bernie Sanders and Jeb Bush? It’s so rude.”

It was hard to quiet my mind after her question. During the class, my brain worked over time figuring out what was happening and where I stood. I must admit I’m a Rodney King kind of person–my knee jerk question is always “Why can’t we all just get along?” And I was raised to always be polite, always.

But there comes a time when you don’t have the leisure for good manners. The leaders of the Black Lives Matter Movement feel that is now. They don’t want another Sandra Bland to die because of police brutality. Or a Michael Brown or Freddie Gray.

Yes, all lives matter, but historically in America, Black lives haven’t. Black Lives Matter is a movement that wants to shake up the status quo NOW so more Blacks don’t die. It’s specific because it needs to be.

The grass roots movement was co-founded by three black activists: Alicia Garza, Patrisse Cullors, and Opal Tometi after the July 2013 acquittal of George Zimmerman in the shooting of Trayvon Martin. After the 2014 deaths of Michael Brown and Eric Garner, the Black Lives Matter movement gained momentum. In both cases, grand juries didn’t indict the officer and no charges were brought. The conclusion to not only the Black community: Black lives don’t seem to matter and the justice system is skewed. Two tools, which are making this obvious to everyone, are cell phone videos and social media. You can’t argue with what has been recorded and social media is spreading the word.

peaceful march.

peaceful march.

Black Lives Matter seems to be focused right now on getting Presidential candidates to develop policies that will ensure racial justice. An excellent goal, but are they going about it the right way?

In August, in my hometown of Seattle, Bernie Sanders’ speech was disrupted by a group who walked onstage, grabbed the microphone from him and shouted at the audience that they were racists and White Supremacists. Sanders looked bewildered, but the next day issued a racial justice policy.

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Hillary Clinton’s bodyguards weren’t having it, but she did meet privately with the leaders of the Black Lives Matter protest. She told Julius Jones, a Black Lives Matter activist, “I don’t believe you change hearts. I believe you change laws, you change allocation of resources, you change the way systems operate.”

Clinton defines the practical, but I believe changing hearts should not be overlooked. Shouting, “All whites are racist!” may feel good in the moment. Disrupting political meetings may make demonstrators feel powerful when they’ve only felt powerless before—but is this how to create lasting change? It’s got shock value, but is it detrimental to the end goal of not only saving black lives, but making black lives worth living? Or does it allow Fox News to target it as a Murder Movement, suggesting it promotes cop killings?

Three Black Lives Matter leaders

Three Black Lives Matter leaders

 

In a television interview I watched, Alicia Garza, Patrisse Cullors and Opal Tometi discuss their goals. Articulate and well spoken, I was convinced by their arguments. I now wear a pin that shows I support the Black Lives Matter Movement.

Black Lives Matter

Black Lives Matter

This is more of what we need. Don’t make me defensive by calling me a white supremacist—I am not a George Lincoln Rockwell. It’s the events that have knocked off my rose colored glasses, not the violent protests. Now continue to show me, educate me, open my eyes. Then use me and my resources, white though they may be, to help bring about necessary change.

 

 

Grand Theft Auto: Not the Game

Auto Theft; Not the Game.

Grand Theft Auto: Not the Game

 

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My car was stolen about a month ago. My husband had driven it down to Palm Springs to get it serviced where we bought it…and to play a little golf and visit with one of his best buddies. He stayed at a hotel in Indian Wells and when he got up in the morning, the car was gone from the lot. Security cameras showed a man trying the door of several cars and finding mine open, getting in and driving away.

Later that day, none the wiser, I called my husband to see how his day was going.

“Good,” he said. “Except for one thing.”

“Everyone okay?” I asked.

“Oh, yeah, everyone’s fine,” he said. I could hear his friend laughing in the background and I smiled.

“That’s the good news,” Moe continued.

“So what’s the bad news?”

“The bad news is your car got stolen.”

“Really?” I said, barely reacting. For some reason it didn’t faze me.

“Yeah. The police think it’s probably long gone,” he said.

But it wasn’t. Ten days later, the police saw the car parked along a street in Palm Springs and went to investigate. The driver jumped out of the car and sprinted down the street. The police gave chase and caught him.

When they called to notify us, they said the car was a mess but mostly intact. By then, I was looking at other cars—I wanted a small sedan and was narrowing my choice. (I must admit to being a little disappointed that the car hadn’t gone to a chop shop.)

One of the officers asked my husband if he used drugs.

“Why?” Moe asked.

“It’s just a formality, sir,” the man said. “We found a considerable amount of drug paraphernalia in the car.”

“Well, if you consider aspirin and ice creams to be drugs, then I do,” Moe said, laughing.

The car was taken to an impound lot and then towed to the dealership because the key was gone, (which is somewhat of a mystery. How was the guy driving the car if he had no key?) Several other parts of the car were gone, as well as all our personal belongings. For my husband, it was devastating. His new golf clubs were MIA.

Yesterday was the first time I’d seen my car since it was stolen. And the reality set in. On the surface, the car looked great. It had been detailed so it looked new. But for me, my car is like a second home. The center glove box contained a small pharmacy of dental products, acid reducers, eye drops, hand creams, etc. I had two of my best pairs of sunglasses in the regular glove compartment, with some cash hidden behind them. (You never know when you might get stranded without your wallet.)

I began to feel as if I’d been burglarized—violated—in some way, as if a stranger had pawed through my underwear.

I opened the trunk to see if the thief had truly taken all the bags I’ve collected in my travels that I use for the grocery store. Gone. The earthquake emergency kit was taken—even the license plate was stolen and the 20-year- old remote for the garage that barely worked. The bag with jackets and hats and gloves, flip-flops and umbrella—all the miscellanea I might need someday—was gone. And the golf towel that had been my dad’s, which no one knew I’d kept to remind me of him.

What was really disconcerting was that the thief had left a bundle of clothes, and his own miscellanea behind, including small sized clothing and Little Mermaid stickers.

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There’s a t-shirt that must have been his—I can tell how big he is.

 

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I began to wonder if he and his family had been living in the car? Using it as a drug den? I was totally creeped out.

Today is better. I still don’t feel like it’s my car, but I’m sure that will come with time. Meanwhile, the trunk of my car is clutter free!

Onward.

p.s. Moe says I should write the thief a thank you note. Because of him I got around to installing the garage door  remote feature in my car.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Race in America: The Courage of Rabbi Teitelbaum

Race in America: The Courage of Rabbi Teitelbaum.

Race in America: The Courage of Rabbi Teitelbaum

The Ava DuVernay film, Selma, is such an excellent film with such fine acting that I felt transported back to the 1960’s while I watched it. The film centers around the Selma to Montgomery March for voting rights in 1965. Although this was an African American movement, many Jewish people were involved in the civil rights struggle. Not only were the horrors of the Holocaust still fresh, but most of us had grandparents and parents who had fled bigotry and oppression. We wanted to help end the same type of hateful acts in America, the Free.

I remember admiring the people who went to the South to march, putting their very lives at risk. My parents would never have let me go and I doubt that I had the courage to do it anyway. But, I do know someone who did have the courage to stand behind Dr. King and other leaders in the March: Rabbi David Teitelbaum. He is the brother and uncle of friends of mine.

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Recently President Obama spoke about him in his remarks at the Adas Israel synagogue, on May 22:

“…I want to close with the story of one more of the many rabbis who came to Selma 50 years ago. A few days after David Teitelbaum arrived to join the protests, he and a colleague were thrown in jail.

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And they spent a Friday night in custody, singing Adon Olam to the tune of “We Shall Overcome.” And that in and of itself is a profound statement of faith and hope. But what’s wonderful is, is that out of respect many of their fellow protestors began wearing what they called “freedom caps”– yarmulkes — as they marched. th-4

And the day after they were released from prison, Rabbi Teitelbaum watched Dr. King lead a prayer meeting before crossing the Edmund Pettus Bridge.”

As we remember the struggles of years past, I hope we can remember the benefits of standing strong together for what is right and just. As we acknowledge the ills of today, I hope we also can stand together, a rainbow of colors and creeds, working to create a better America for all. For me, these aren’t just words—they are my intention.

 

P.S.

Just as I finished writing this, I got this news update from the New York Times:

“Seven years ago, in the gauzy afterglow of a stirring election night in Chicago, commentators dared ask whether the United States had finally begun to heal its divisions over race and atone for the original sin of slavery by electing its first black president. It has not. Not even close.

A new New York Times/CBS News poll reveals that nearly six in 10 Americans, including heavy majorities of both whites and blacks, think race relations are generally bad and that nearly four in 10 think the situation is getting worse. By comparison, two-thirds of Americans surveyed shortly after President Obama took office said they believed that race relations were generally good.”

This survey does not change my intention—it only makes it stronger. The bandaids are off so we can see the poison underneath. Let’s dig deep and make some real change.

 

Unconscious Racism: Let’s Move Forward

When Barack Obama was elected President I thought it was a signal that racism was dead. I thought so much had been accomplished but that’s because my rose colored glasses were firmly in place. It’s taken cell phones with cameras to uncover the truth about how Blacks are treated by police in this country. But it’s not only police brutality at play here. After several months, I’m beginning to understand that our societal core is racist.

Let me see if I can start to explain white privilege.  It’s so integral in American society that we don’t even perceive it. It is not overt—I don’t think it is even conscious. Let’s begin with the color of our skin.

 

Natural Nude?

Natural Nude?

Last night I was on a website that sells clothing. I was looking at underwear. Because I’m writing about the years I taught at Meany and about race in our country, I’ve become more cognizant of what is “natural” in America. And here on the website was a fine example: I had only one choice of color for my sports bra: “natural nude”. It is a beige or light tan color. In other words, if your skin is not of that color, you are unnatural? In one sweep of the language, all people of color are excluded from the societal norm when buying this product.

This is only one way people of color are marginalized in our society, and you may say that it’s not that important. But the constant bombardment of such messages takes a toll. I can relate somewhat during the Christmas season. As a Jew, I am not part of the celebration. When the “National Christmas Tree” is lighted, I feel that even though my grandparents all immigrated to the United States over 100 years ago, perhaps I am not a real American.

 

The 88th Annual National Tree Lighting, sponsored by UL, stays safe and bright with over 750 lights and 500 ornaments on this year's tree.  Photo courtesy of Charlie Samuels/UL.

The 88th Annual National Tree Lighting, sponsored by UL, stays safe and bright with over 750 lights and 500 ornaments on this year’s tree.

Jennifer Holladay, in her book, White Anti-Racism Activism, says: “White skin privilege is not something that white people necessarily do, create or enjoy on purpose….White people receive all kinds of perks as a function of their skin privilege.”

She then gives some examples.

“• When I cut my finger and go to my school or office’s first aid kit, the flesh-colored band-aid generally matches my skin tone.

  • When I stay in a hotel, the complimentary shampoo generally works with the texture of my hair.
  • When I run to the store to buy pantyhose at the last minute, the ‘nude’ color generally appears nude on my legs.
  • When I buy hair care products in a grocery store or drug store, my shampoos and conditioners are in the aisle and section labeled ‘hair care’ and not in a separate section for ‘ethnic products.’
  • I can purchase travel size bottles of my hair care products at most grocery or drug stores.”

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Many years ago, I’d figured out that the pinkish beige color, FLESH, in the crayon box, was racially exclusive. Same for FLESH-COLORED bandages that were beige. I’d never thought about hair products before, although I’ve noticed the special section for people of color. (I’m always so focused on finding a product that will give me volume that I don’t have time to think of anything else in the hair aisle.)

Flesh-colored?

Flesh-colored?

 

Once you become aware of this inaccurate color description, you begin to see it everywhere. In an article, “White Privlege: Flesh Colored” in The Society Pages, Lisa Wade gives more examples. One of the most ironic and outrageous is the description of First Lady Michelle Obama’s ball gown:

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Flesh-colored? It didn’t match the flesh of the beautiful  first lady!

Barack Obama, Manmohan Singh, Michelle Obama, Gursharan Kaur

As well meaning whites continue to awaken from our long sleep of oblivion, there are attempts to right this basic wrong. Here is an example:

 

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When I taught middle school in the Eighties, I tried to raise the consciousness of my students. One exercise I learned in a Graduate School multi-cultures class was this: You are sitting on a park bench and an American walks past you. Describe the American. The descriptions written offered a fascinating look into the American psyche. Most of the “Americans” were white and male, sort of like all our Presidents until Barack Obama came along.

 

 

Normal skin? Is that what an American has?

Normal skin? Is that what an American has?

 

 

The Big Fat Summer of Love: Dr. Traci Mann

This interview really resonated with me, a yoyo dieter from childhood. Growing up in an extremely critical and very loving family, I strove to live up to my parents’ and family’s expectations. I remember being about 12 and eating a piece of cheese, and my brother saying, “Cheese is very fattening.” He loved to tease me as all big brothers do, and I thought he was just giving me a bad time. But he showed me some proof. There began my illicit affair with cheese. To this day, guilt plagues me when I eat it.
Thanks for presenting the information in your interview with Dr. Mann. I try to tell people we are born being a mesomorph, ectomorph or endomorph, but now I have some ammunition that may make more of an impact. Dr. Mann said in your interview: “For years I have been studying the science of weight loss and obesity, and the evidence shows that weight is primarily genetically determined and the extent to which people can alter it is limited. Trying to live at a weight way below one’s genetic range is a recipe for misery and failure as it basically means living as if you are biologically starving. I think it is immoral to expect people to live this way for the sole purpose of achieving a weight that happens to be what our society considers attractive at this point in time.”

thisfeistyfox's avatarFattitude

FattitudeSummerofBigFatLoveV3-1After years of dieting, newbies to the world of Body Acceptance, find it very hard to wrap around the much discussed concept that, “Diets Don’t Work.” Thanks to Dr. Traci Mann of The Health and Eating Lab, however, we have hard evidence to prove such rhetoric. Dr. Mann, a widely cited expert in her field, has done copious amount of research on dieting, eating, fatness and self control and has proven, time and again, that, indeed, diets don’t work.

Dr. Mann’s book, “Secrets from the Eating Lab: The Science of Weight Loss, the Myth of Willpower, and Why You Should Never Diet Again,” explains her findings in depth and offers a breath of fresh air to anyone who has been stuck on the hamster wheel of Body Hate for any length of time.

cover@2xWhile the Body Acceptance Movement has a vast selection of wonderfully loud warriors who boisterously encourage…

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