Tag Archives: new year resolutions

Renewing My Vows

The last time I wrote a blog for A Corner of my Mind was two months ago. A lot has happened since then, good and bad. A lot of it was crazy making stuff that took me away from my writing. Yesterday, amidst a lot of stuff going on (all good), I looked at this wrinkled scrap of paper I’d taped to my computer. It contained my New Year’s Resolutions from a couple of years ago. The last item was, Write a blog every two weeks.

I’d managed to do that pretty well until November. As I sat there yesterday, I vowed that I would get back to doing so ASAP. Nothing like the present to achieve that goal.

I’m not sure what sent me off the rails. True, I didn’t have the use of a computer around Thanksgiving. When I did, I was dealing with police detectives investigating our burglary, and with contractors who were rebuilding our home after our flood.

Then the fun stuff started with our grandson’s visit with three college friends to our condo in Hawaii. After the friends left, the whole rest of our family came for the Winter Holiday. We have three grandsons in college–a whole subset of culture. One night I cleared out my freezer by making every kind of junk food stored there–perfect college fare. Then we have two granddaughters. The seven-year-old adores her sixteen-year-old cousin!

I love watching my family interact–it’s a grandmother’s delight. I didn’t want to miss a moment of pool time hi-jinks or even just sitting around talking. We’re only together now for a short time, once a year, so forget writing.

But by the time they left on January 3rd, I’d gotten out of the habit of sitting in front of the computer and putting my thoughts on paper. I started doing things like making soup, watching football and ironing. Fortunately, I started teaching my memoir writing class on January 7. This got me back on track with a chapter in my own memoir. And I remembered the feeling of being in the zone that I can only get from writing.

So once again, I’m baaaccckkkk! Happy New Year!!!


New Year, Not so New Resolutions

This is my new year’s resolution blog. You might think it’s too late for it but it’s only January 15. 2017 is just two weeks old. Still a baby!

Anyway, one of my resolutions is to stop rushing around like a chicken with my head cut off. (You might think this is a cliché but my husband actually got to see the phenomenon. In the old days of his Ancestors.com, a newly built home was blessed by cutting the head off a chicken. The vision of the chicken running around their yard featured in my husband’s nightmares for years.)

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As for my resolutions:

I have resolved to stop multi-tasking and to slow down. We had dinner with friends last night and she asked me what I’ve doing. “Since we’re in Hawaii, are you sitting around and relaxing?” she added.

I shook my head. “You know me. That just doesn’t happen. But, I’m trying. As soon as I get caught up with everything, I’m going to put relaxing into my day. It’s one of my new year’s resolutions.” It’s that I so rarely get caught up. Then something happens, either good or bad, and I’m behind again. I didn’t think I’d have this problem in my 70’s. Still.

I find that every year I resolve pretty much the same thing. Writing that, it reminded me that two years ago I printed out my 2015 resolutions and taped them to my computer. I was supposed to look at them every day but then I forgot they were there until just now. Oh well, one of my resolutions this year is to give up trying to do everything right. That leads to perfectionism, which means you’re polishing things at midnight, be it silver or words. It also means there’s constant judgment being aimed at my endeavors. Mother has been dead twenty years but she still is holding up the signs and there’s never been a 10. So time to get over it!

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Now, I’m looking at my list on the computer, and I like it. I haven’t accomplished any of the items, but they still seem like worthy goals. They aren’t global but more about me taking care of me. As a Grandiose Co-Dependent, I’m good at taking care of others, especially in the way I see fit. Taking care of me can go sideways.

No more procrastinating: here goes:

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  1. Be happy with myself at my age.
  2. Stretch after my walk.
  3. Eat Healthy.
  4. Do one thing at a time. Finish it.
  5. Think the thought that makes me feel good. Work on reducing anxiety.
  1. Write a blog every two weeks. Write every day.

 

All of this should keep me busy. I told myself just the other day, “You better learn to be happy with your age, or you’re going to be constantly depressed. Stop looking at your arm and wanting it to be firmly muscled. Ain’t happening. Be happy if it is has a muscle at all.”

Which reminds me—this getting older is not so much fun sometimes. Keeping healthy is more than a full time job. Cancer knocks on your door and comes in uninvited. Strokes and heart attacks and dementia are only a Plavix away. Friends and relatives are getting really sick or dying. I finally get it when people say, “This is not a dress rehearsal.”

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So, I guess my main resolution is that I’m going to do less and enjoy it more. (Okay, friends and relatives, stop snorting.)

 

 

 

 

New Year Resolution Assessment

I thought that since half a year has gone by as well as my half birthday, I should assess how I’ve done on my resolutions from January. Here they are:

  1. Be happy with myself at my age.
  2. Stretch after my walk.
  3. Eat healthy.
  4. Think the thought that makes me feel good not the negative or fearful one.
  5. Don’t be the Grandiose Co-Dependent.

These are not what I remember. They are well and good, but in my mind I’d written:

  1. Write a blog twice a month.
  2. Work on the book.
  3. Do ten minutes or more of Rosetta Stone Spanish every day.
  4. Eat healthy.
  5. Stretch after my walk.
  6. Accept myself at my age.
  7. Take computer lessons.

It’s amazing what is and what we think is. Here I was supposed to be happy with myself and I was only trying to be accepting of the wrinkles, flab, and aches. Then I was feeling guilty if I didn’t write a blog every other week. As for the Rosetta Stone, a whole week could go by and I couldn’t seem to find even one ten minute segment to practicar Spanish. One good thing is that I’ve been working on my book lately with the help of an editor and mentor. It’s like a physical workout—I need a trainer or I’m not showing up. The same goes for writing my book—I now have Laura to keep me going.

To continue my analysis, I can count on the fingers of my right hand how many times I have stretched after my walk. That is sad because each time I do, my back, knee and foot feel so much better. Also when I go to my stretch class, I feel much better. Wait, can I count my stretch class? We even use the foam roller in there.

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And how about Pilates? Does that count? Those two classes keep me moving and I appreciate the instructors so much.

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I have tried harder to eat healthy but let’s face it, I will always drink Cokes and wine, and eat foods that do not enhance my body chemistry. Because, like the song says, “I’m Only Human”. And I love to eat. And I’m grateful I can. My sister-in-law’s brother gets his only nourishment through a food tube to his stomach. If that were me, and I didn’t love my children and grandchildren so much, I’d go the Kevorkian route.

I do think I made some headway on numbers 4 and 5 on the first list, without being conscious of it. I have caught myself a couple of times awfulizing or catastrophisizing and backed away from the dire thoughts. That is big for me. Last week I started going into a funk about how time is passing so quickly. My oldest grandchild is one year away from leaving home to go to college. How can it be? But, I caught myself in time and reminded myself to think thoughts that make me feel good. The melancholy dispersed much quicker. Finally, I am practicing to be less co-dependent. I’m not as sweet and compliant as I used to be. I still have trouble saying NO, but I have done it at least twice.

My plan is to combine the actual list with the one in my head for my goal setting for the second half of 2015. I’m primed for it anyway because I’ve already taken two computer lessons. Might as well continue.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

New Year Resolutions Update

I am writing this mainly because I resolved at the new year  to write a blog once a week. I haven’t written one because I am working on a memoir piece and have told myself that until it’s finished, all the other stuff on my mind must be put off. I thought I’d just report on how I’m doing on the resolutions for 2015.

I find that having them posted on my computer is very helpful. I read them once a week whether I plan to nor not. I am reinforcing what I proposed and it is helpful. I can report moderate success. I think when I finish my essay, I might expand on each item. Just for my own edification.

I am finding that life is moving much too quickly. I’m overwhelmed that it is already February 7. I want to shout out, “Slow down!” but who’d listen?

Resolutions? Not such a Good Idea.

My nephew recently asked on Facebook if people had any New Year resolutions. I wrote back that for one, I wanted to lose five pounds. I also said that’s always been one of my resolutions for the past 40 years. No matter what my weight is, I always want to lose five pounds. This says many things about me, none of which interest me at all. It was a joke anyway.

When I taught middle schoolers, I’d have them write five goals at the beginning of the school year and at the beginning of the new semester. I had my own kids do it too. The list wasn’t buried—it was accessible so you could glance at it every now and then. It was amazing how stating your intentions could make them come about.

I think goals shouldn’t be too lofty and they should be attainable. For example, “I will eliminate the problem of garbage” just doesn’t work for me. “I will have a recycle can in my kitchen and will recycle bottIes, cans, and paper,”—now that’s what I’m talking about. It’s a practical plan. It’s what I can do to help change the world, one person at a time. “I will lose five pounds” obviously doesn’t work for me, either. And at my age when you lose weight, your skin sags like crepe paper decorations kept up too long. Instead my goal is to eat healthily. “I will eliminate as many processed foods from my diet as possible, including Oreos, Starbucks coffee cake and Hagen Das ice cream bars” is specific and should help me healthwise. (You notice nothing was stated about wine and Martinis.)

I’m thinking of adopting or adapting Chef Angela’s idea of a yearly bucket list. She already posted her 2014 Bucket List on Facebook. (Now, that’s really putting yourself on the line—other people will know if you don’t attain an item. I don’t have that courage.) A Bucket List sounds so much more positive than a New Year’s Resolutions list. It’s a looking forward instead of back, and it can include dreams too.

One thing I have on my list I will share: “Every day, name five things I am grateful for.” I have been doing this for many years now and it’s a life changer. Every night when I lay down my sleepy head, I name five things I’m grateful for on that day. One night, the list included “I’m grateful that the toilet only overflowed once.”—it was that kind of day. But slowly, my attitude towards life changed. I stopped looking for what I didn’t have and became grateful for what I did. I’m a much happier person.

One of the things I’m grateful for is you—the people I connect with through the blog and through Facebook. You make me a much happier person too! Happy and Healthy New Year to each and everyone.