Category Archives: About Life in General

opinions about life today.

The Promise of Spring

It was a beautiful Easter/Passover morning. I set out on my walk without a plan in my head. I had no where I had to be until later in the day. Every plate and platter were put away, every pot was clean (well, there still was a little chicken soup left in one), and I no longer felt I’d been run over by a truck.

As I walked, I saw that the long winter’s sleep was done. Trees were budding all over the place! Primroses were nodding hello in the breeze. Calla lilies were in bloom.

When I walked by the lake I saw the many geese who’ve decided being American 24/7, 365/365 is a better plan than fighting the lines through Customs at the Canadian border. They aren’t the neatest of neighbors and can be quite aggressive at times…but not as aggressive as the coyotes who like to stretch their legs over the same grassy area.

As I rounded the curve, I spied an unusual sight: a goose who walked with a swagger. Most geese waddle. This guy had a long blade of grass hanging out of the side of his mouth. His cocky smirk reminded me of the silverback gorilla my brother had run into once in Rwanda.

After I’d walked a couple blocks, I got more curious and headed back to see if I could find my fine feathered friend. He, of course, wasn’t among the group on the lawn. He was much too superior for that. Maybe he was at the lake, I thought.

At first I wondered if maybe he was the one in the middle of the lake honking his head off warning the gaggle of impending doom. Or one of the two on the lake making plans for an assignation.

But, no, it seemed to me he was more the type to strut around looking for babes! And sure enough, I found him. Puffed out and looking good (except for the pieces of grass stuck in his beak.)

He kept walking around showing off but when I left, he was still alone. Just goes to show that all girls are smarter these days and as my mother always said, “Pride goes before a fall.”

Nostalgia Notes

 

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I got nostalgic yesterday for all the previous yesterdays when I could sleep through the night without worrying about was happening on the East Coast. I got nostalgic for the days when I didn’t need to know the names of people like Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell, Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi. I got nostalgic for the days when I believed our government was led by men and women with integrity and knowledge of national and international affairs. I wanted to go back to the days when I thought no President would tell a lie.

Then I got just plain nostalgic for that age of innocence when I was growing up. It turned into a Remember When morning and thinking of things in the past.

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Let’s start with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on white bread. Really, they were so delicious and went down so smoothly with a glass of milk. And we thought we were eating something healthy: the peanut butter was protein and the jelly was fruit. I just realized something weird — no one had a peanut allergy back then.

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Sadly, another thing that is probably in my past is prime rib. It used to be my favorite — my mother made a big one every Sunday night and we fought over the crispy fat. Now when I look at this photo, I feel a bit nauseous. Darn! And it tasted so good.

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Embroidery is a craft of the past. Probably a hundred years ago, my grandmother embroidered these napkins made out of flour sacking. My grandparents were immigrants who had nothing when they came to the United States in 1900. But my grandmother had skill and perseverance so she made things beautiful. I’ll never throw them away.

She is still my inspiration. She was the most amazing baker the world has ever seen. She never measured — well, she did use a half of an egg shell occasionally. This photo really captures her spirit.

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Spring is such a hopeful season filled with abundant energy. Winter fights with Spring, creating mischievous weather that has us layering on and off. The other day, as I put my jacket back on after just removing it five minutes before, I heard the distant drone of a propeller in the sky. When I looked up at the single engine plane, it took me back to my childhood days in Seattle. More feelings of nostalgia.

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Then there is the nostalgia for what you once could have worn, but no longer can. Like this gorgeous shoe — boot. I’m drooling as I look at it but I know there’d be no reason for me to even try it on. Too high of a heel for me and it would look ridiculous at the bottom of my babyboomer legs.

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Above is this tee shirt, which is more appropriate for me at my age. I remember getting a plaque with Getting Old is not for Sissies for my mom and dad on their 50th anniversary. Oh, we kids thought it was so funny…and we thought it would never happen to us.

Guess who isn’t laughing now.

 

 

 

Trump Tramples Women

via WHAT’S THE NEXT DOGWHISTLE?

WHAT’S THE NEXT DOGWHISTLE?

PressforProgress-India

I am so angry at the remarks Trump made in Pennsylvania about women. It’s been a slow burn in the pit of my stomach, but it could be ignited into a full flame at a moment’s notice.

His disrespect for women was on full display in front of this Pennsylvania crowd. Disrespect? What am I saying? Why I am so polite? He disdains women, despises the idea that they have a place in government. Deplores that women have a voice at all.

“We have to defeat Nancy Pelosi and Maxine Waters, a very low I.Q. individual,” Trump said. “You ever see her? You ever seen her? You ever see her? ‘We will impeach him! We will impeach the president!’ But he hasn’t done anything wrong. It doesn’t matter, we will impeach him! She’s a low I.Q. individual. You can’t help it. She really is.”

“But you have Maxine Waters, and you have plenty of others, and I mean Nancy Pelosi, you can’t have that,” Trump said.

In going after the Democratic leadership, he doesn’t go after Chuck Schumer He goes after Nancy Pelosi — a woman. “I mean Nancy Pelosi, you can’t have that?” Why can’t you have that? What does he mean?

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I didn’t like that but it’s what he said about Maxine Waters that has my blood boiling. You know it was racist. Don’t try to deny it. He thought he could get in a racist dig about African Americans, and win over his audience. “She’s a low I.Q. individual.” Wink, wink! “We’ll put them down because we know we whites are so much smarter!” Blech!

Waters, herself, says his remarks are racist. He’d attacked her similarly at the annual Gridiron Club annual dinner. “I certainly expected him to come out with some racist remarks about me. So he did exactly what I expected him do…”, she told MSNBC’s Joy Reid.

How dare he!!! I’m so appalled he thinks he can make derogatory remarks heard around the world about my fellow Americans and get away with it. Don’t forget he got his dig in at Gary Cohn, using the dogwhistle “Globalist”, the alt right term for a Jew.

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Meanwhile, the Pennsylvania speech that included anti-women sentiment was given two days after International Women’s Day, in the middle of Women’s History Month. I don’t think it was by accident. Trump may seem to shoot from the hip (NRA not withstanding) but I believe his statements are planned and thought out.

We can see that with the firing of Rex Tillerson via Twitter. Tillerson, who has a lot to answer for in his dismantling and mismanagement of the State Department, nevertheless has the right to be treated with respect by the president he served. The Secretary of State handled himself with dignity today when he made his remarks, although he was vibrating with emotion. Trump, in the same Pennsylvania speech, mocked a dignified President who would act with decorum.

That’s Trump’s mindset about the Presidency. I shudder to conjure up his thoughts about our democracy.flag-2578873__340

But, Not Seriously: The Good Ol’ Days

 

The other day I was taking a walk with a couple of friends and the subject of showers came up.

“I take a three minute shower,” I said.

“Why?” my fastidious friend asked. She seemed shocked.

“For two reasons. One, to conserve water, and also, I never have time to linger. It’s soap up, rinse off and get out,” I said.

“ I’m not being very environmentally responsible. I love to feel the hot water beat down on me. It feels so good. And I love to linger when I take a bath,” she said, looking guilty.

A bath, I thought. Now, there’s a foreign concept. I hadn’t had time for a bath in twenty years. You think when you get older, you’ll have more time for things like that. But time just keeps moving faster and it’s hard to fit in everything you need to do.

“What kind of soap do you use?” our other friend asked.

“I like natural shower gels,” I said.

They both did too.

“My husband still likes Dial Soap,” I said.

Their eyebrows raised so high I could see them above their sunglasses. “Dial soap? In a bar?” one asked.

“Yep, the old fashioned way,” I said.

“When I was a kid, we’d use the bar until you could see the lines at the bottom,” one of my buddies said.

“We used it down until it was a sliver,” I said. “We sorta still do.”

That was the moment when I realized that my parents’ Depression Mentality had truly sunk into my consciousness. We’d always laughed at them for their frugality, but the apple doesn’t fall far from the bushel. I’m just like my dad as I walk around turning off lights and television sets left on by the other denizens of my domicile. I squeeze out the very last bit of toothpaste from my tube. And wouldn’t dream of throwing away a half-filled container of anything.

But that isn’t all. I’m blushing as I admit this but I use my Kuerig cup twice. And it isn’t only because of landfill guilt. The second cup isn’t really that bad if you only make a half cup.

“When we were kids, we only took baths,” one of my friends said as we turned the corner towards home.

“Us, too,” the other said. “And we often shared the bath water.”

“Same!” I said. “And we only had one bathroom for the five of us. When we got to be teenagers, we didn’t share, but you’d have to wait your turn outside the door.”

My friends said their growing up had been equally fraught with bathroom depravation.

 

“My sister used to take the longest baths in the history of the world,” one said. “God forbid if you needed to pee while she was in there.”

“My brother was in ROTC in college. He used to practice his Marching Orders while he was in the tub,” I said. “Hupt Two, Three. Hupt Two Three.”

“My kids shared a bathroom when they were growing up,” one of the women said.

“So did mine,” I said. “We never thought about each bedroom having its own bathroom until we moved to California.”

We all tried to picture our grandkids sharing one bathroom with their whole family. We couldn’t do it.

As I walked back to my house I thought about how refreshing our conversation had been. For over a year, we’d only talked about our fears for the world and ways we could help preserve the democracy we’d grown up with. Or about aging babyboomer problems we or our friends were having. For an hour, we hadn’t uttered one serious word.

Don’t Count Me Out: I’m not going down that path

Who thought at 72 I would still be asking myself: “Who am I?” This is not the first time I’ve asked myself that. Maybe the 100th? But I thought by now I’d know.

Last spring I still thought I was 50. Well, maybe 60. I was in great shape — walking five miles a day, doing yoga, working out — and also very productive — writing several chapters for my book, my blog and short stories. I was marching in protests, keeping up with my kids and grandkids, doing it all.

I’ve always liked to do it all–it might be my manic. Sometimes I have trouble sleeping because it seems like a waste of time. I do think our age group had this thrust on us. As the vanguard of the babyboomers, we “girls” couldn’t just be a pretty face. We had to be that, but also be athletic, get straight A’s and have meaningful professions–as well as becoming perfect wives and mothers.

Then last spring I got a bad virus that might have come to me via Brazil. At first I joked about it. I even wrote a humorous blog about all the medications I was taking from the East and West medical experts. Well, I did refuse the antibiotic — Heck, I was no senior citizen who had to jump to that extreme!

As the summer wore on, I felt worse and then better. Then worse and then worser. I did have a chest X-ray, but it was Fourth of July and the doctors were on vacation so no one read it. My cough took over the situation until I felt just like this car below. I’d been a cute model in my time, but now I held together by duct tape.

I was finally diagnosed with walking pneumonia. They should have told me I had go-to-bed pneumonia ‘cuz instead, I just kept walking around doing my normal stuff. That’s when being 70 caught up with me. Turned out I have COPD that was being exacerbated by the bug and the pneumonia. My lungs and bronchials are permanently damaged, which explains why I get so tired when others don’t. It’s taken months to get back enough energy to create a normal life; and it’s a new normal, at that.

That became jeopardized last week when I got sick with a respiratory bug. I felt like I was the star of “Groundhog’s Day”, repeating the same symptoms as six months before: fever, sore throat, cough, swollen glands, nasal and ear congestion. A year ago, I’d have said I had a head cold, but this time I saw the doctor and was on a Z pack within two days. And I’ve added an inhaler into the mix. Plus I’m eating a healthy diet: eliminating gluten and dairy and most sugars.

I started lying around all day, like the older person I am. Especially because of all the articles about people dying from the flu. And my friends advising me not to take this illness lighting. And because the doctor told me to lay low. And my husband telling me to please not exert myself. Actually, I had so many well intentioned warnings that I started getting short of breath just from anxiety. I was a nervous wreck!

Yesterday I realized I’m beginning to think of myself as an invalid. I ventured out to do yoga and walk a half a mile. What’s going to happen, I wondered with trepidation. I came home and pampered myself, making sure I took my medications, rested, and checked in the mirror often to see how ashen my face looked. It was when I woke from my nap that I began to question: Who am I?

One thing I can tell you, the answer is not going to be invalid. When the going gets tough, the tough get going! I like cliches that are helpful.

 

Marching for the American Way

 

I was surprised last night when I went on Facebook and saw negative comments about the Women’s March, especially surprised to read those from women. “Why are you marching? What don’t you have?” someone asked to women in general as if we are spoiled little girls who just want more and more!
“What were all these women doing blocking the roads when people needed them to get to work?” another person groused.
“Why take up the time of the police? They have better things to do than herd women with little pink pussies on their heads,” said someone else.


Okay, I thought.  I’m not sure why, out of all things going on, people are so annoyed about women organizing and marching. Obviously, they just don’t get it. Women, and men, marched together for what we were taught in school: American values. The March supported women, yes: equal pay, protection from harassment, the right to female healthcare–those kinds of issues. But it also supported the values of honor, integrity, respect, truth and fair play. We marched for equality and justice for all.

Did I think I’d be doing this at 72? No, not at all. Did I think my sisters from all over the country would be marching in January because we felt we needed to? No, but here we are.

I went to the Kona March with 12 people, male and female. We ranged in age from 2 and 1/2 to 88. We weren’t a militant group–just neighbors who care about each other and the United States.

It was hot. We needed water, and lots of it. No one complained, even the baby girl!

There were all kinds of people there–people who cared enough to come out and stand together . It felt good to chant: RESIST, PERSIST, INSIST. We will resist injustice. We will not be good little girls and go away–we will persist as we insist that our flag stands for everybody. We are a diverse nation–that’s a fact. And we love it.

A man asked me what I thought about the Trump year. He recorded what I said (Will I be arrested soon?), which was: “I think the band aid has been ripped off the cover of America, and the ugly wound festering beneath has been revealed. Perhaps now there can be some healing.”

No Laughing Matter

At the beginning of the summer I wrote an, “Oh, so funny. I have a cold”, blog. Only it turned out to be no laughing matter. It was a bad virus that lasted for weeks. I stopped taking my temperature after nine days. After nine days, you don’t have a temperature anymore with a cold, right?

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(do not ask me why I took this picture–I don’t know. I must have had a reason, but it couldn’t have been a good one.)

 

And I only had a cold…all you had to do was ask me and I’d tell that I had the same virus that knocked out Rachel Madow. I refused to believe it was anything else and put away all my cold paraphernalia.

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I’d been coughing for so long that I stopped hearing myself cough. I was on the verge of total exhaustion by 8:30 in the morning, but I began taking my daily walk again.

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This cough medicine and Vick’s VapoRub stayed on the counter.

I didn’t realize I was spending a lot of time in bed. “Mimi takes rests,” my five-year-old granddaughter said in the middle of the summer and I laughed.

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Here she is entertaining me when I woke up one afternoon.

After the first ten days, I did go to the doctor, but he said it was a virus so no antibiotics were necessary. Three weeks later, I even had a chest X-ray—my husband insisted on it, which should have given me a clue something was up. But when you’re sick and so tired, you have trouble adding up two and two let alone that you’re husband’s mind, which is always on golf, was cognizant I was not doing well. Another clue that I was really sick was that I kept cancelling my manicure appointments. When you don’t have the energy to drive fifteen minutes to sit for a half an hour, you just might have a problem. Oh well, hindsight is 20:20.

The Fourth of July holiday is not a good time to be sick. Everyone in a doctor’s office is on vacation or wants to be on vacation. Chest X-rays don’t get read. Lungs aren’t checked. Temperatures aren’t taken. I was given an Okay when I shouldn’t have been.

By mid-July I had walking pneumonia. I knew it had to be walking pneumonia because I was still out walking the dog, no matter how exhausted I was. I began to sleep more during the day and continued coughing most of the night. This was when I began to feel like a wreck.

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In August, when I went for my annual check up, I insisted on another chest X-ray. That’s when things started hopping. The radiologist was so alarmed by what he saw that he called the doctor immediately. I was scheduled for a CT scan the next day.

This was around the time I asked my Facebook friends whether I could put off my mammogram. How much radiation can a person take in so short a time? I wondered.

In any case, the CT scan showed all kinds of gunk in my lungs and bronchioles. One pulmonary specialist sent me to a special lab to have 14 vials of blood taken. I guess they were looking for what kind of microbe had set off the chain of events.

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I started seeing a UCLA pulmonary specialist in September. He assured me that the nodules were so small they weren’t cancerous. “No problem. We’ll keep track of them with CT scans every six months,” he said. “But you do have a lot of schmutz in your lungs.” Schmutz! Now there was terminology I could understand.

After a gazillion tests, he diagnosed me with bronchiectasis and COPD, and said the virus had set off an exacerbation. All of a sudden, the little cold had turned into a full time job!

I must admit to a bit of panic during the time between the CT scan and the diagnosis. Oh, all right: a lot of panic. And the diagnosis didn’t really ring my bell either. I had never thought of myself as a Spiriva type of person. Shows you what I know.

I am much better than I was. I look back on July and wonder how I dragged myself to the Bruno Mars concert in Vancouver, B.C.

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I think about how gray my face was in September at our anniversary party.

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Even in November, I was in a state of exhaustion that could lead to coughing spells. A low blood sugar attack could hit me unawares, which was not pleasant either. That’s better now.

Still, the slightest thing can set me off. I never wanted to be the Princess and the Pea, but I am more than ever. I’ve become hypersensitive to scents, especially chemicals. I can’t walk down the grocery store aisle stocked with detergents, etc. without going into a coughing spell. And no more perfumes or colognes! I have to dust my bedroom a couple of times a week. All that kind of stuff. And I had to have flu and pneumonia shots because I’ve been cautioned not to get a respiratory illness! I don’t like being difficult. I had a difficult mother and my compass has always pointed directly away from her actions. Still, if I don’t hug you, don’t feel offended.

So what prompted me to write this expose? The smoke filled air. I’ve become one of those people who must check the air before I go outside. We have a lot of smoke from the tragic uncontained fires around here in Southern California, and my lungs can be endangered by poor air quality. I’ve needed to stay inside several days. Yes, me! I can’t believe it either. I was healthy as a horse in May.

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I share my story to encourage everyone to see their doctor if they have symptoms of any kind that persist. I also love this new site someone clued me in on: AirNow.gov. You get up-to-date reports about the air quality in your zip code.

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Also, I share my story because I realize now how depressed I was. And afraid. Even though I had a lot of people around me, I didn’t feel I should bother them. Nor am I good at accepting help. I kept trying to do everything alone and I wasn’t doing a good job of it. God forbid, I should admit to slowing down! How embarrassing!

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Now things are definitely looking up. Seven months into this, I’m taking the medications I’m supposed to (didn’t want to do inhalers) sparingly. I do breathing exercises and Nettypot twice a day! I eat more healthy foods more times during the day.

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I’ve also decided I needed to think more positively. I do NOT want to wear a tag that says I have an elephant sitting on my diaphragm. I’m renaming the diseases I was labeled with. Bronchiectasis is a scary thing so I’ve decided to say I have chronic bronchitis. COPD is the third leading cause of death in the United States so I don’t need that hanging around my neck. Instead, I acknowledge I have asthma. But I’m not just going to use prescription meds. I’m going to yoga three times a week and walking every day.

I’ve learned that it’s important to avail ourselves of western medicine. But I don’t want to be trapped in it. One thing I know. I’ll never give up.

 

 

 

I AM AN AMERICAN

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I am an American.

I believe in truth, justice and the American way.

I am an American.

I believe in facts. Lying, cheating and editing the truth to

Distort Reality is not part of who I am.

I am an American.

I am not a bigot.

I do not condone the actions of Neo-Fascist White Supremacists. I do not believe that our President should align himself with them.

I am an American.

I believe all Americans should have food in their bellies and Medical Care if they need it. That means helping others who need help.

I am an American.

I am the granddaughter of immigrants who pursued the American Dream.

I reap the benefits of their toil and courage. I believe I can’t hoard all of it.

I am an American.

I am a grandmother who worries about the future of my grandchildren. I want this planet to survive long after I’m gone.

I am an American.

I want to live in this amazing country and feel safe. I don’t want to feel threatened by anyone, including terrorists or a gunman showing up in my neighborhood mall.

I am an American.

The Declaration of Independence states: “We hold these Truths to be selfevident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness….”

We Americans need to remember that. We need to work on making those words true.

I am an American.

I’m here for the long haul. I won’t go away.

A Turkey in the Produce Aisle

via A Turkey in the Produce Aisle