Automated Phone Hell

I don’t know about you, but having to deal with big companies’ automatic phone answering systems is wearing me down. It’s gotten so bad that when I hear that woman’s computer generated voice, I start looking for a tranquilizer.

At the end of June we had our credit card’s number stolen. How? I don’t know but the bank decided not to call us when someone made 14 one dollar purchases along the road from La Valencia to Palm Springs. I would have thought that was suspicious, but what do I know?

Because of this theft, we had to get new cards and also change every automatic payment we make. Several I could do online, but others I had to call. And go through listening to the voice telling me to choose my options: one, two, three and four. But I couldn’t just choose—I had to listen to what each option was. Invariably I was Option: Other. It didn’t end there with a person to help me. When I went to the option, I had to enter more data. Or answer stupid questions.

One day I lost it and started shouting into the phone, “I want to talk to a person!” Another time, after waiting patiently for Option Three I got this response: “Due to a high volume of calls, we suggest you call at another time. Goodbye.” That was not a good day.

I just got off the phone with our credit card company. Yesterday my card was denied at the grocery store, which is always a pleasant occurrence. So when I called to check on it, I had to go through the whole rigmarole of options. Finally, a young woman came on the line and asked me every question in the book except my bra size. When she began to explain company policy, I put my head on my desk. By the time she was done with me, my eyes were crossed.

I’m beginning to believe this is a Soviet plot. (Yes, I said Soviet. Live with it.) It’s a sneaky way to drive formerly sane Americans to commit acts of violence. No wonder there’s so much road rage.

One response to “Automated Phone Hell

  1. Always enjoy your posts. You’re mentioned in my current post of Aug. 15, 2014.

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